Family Gratitude
Finding gratitude at all times
Recently I talked about quarantine and posed the question, “What is it all about?” As I sat down to write for this week’s post, I was flooded with feelings of gratitude for the time I have been given with people I otherwise wouldn’t have seen as much because of the crazy schedule I usually have with work and travelling during this time of the year. The main opportunity I am grateful for is the chance to get to spend more time with my family. My family is such a powerful influence in my life from my mom, dad and brother, to my extended family with my grandparents, aunts, cousins, etc. The relationship I have with each member is very unique but all are so special and important to me.
I got to spend the last week with my mom, dad and brother. I cannot even remember the last time we were all together — just the four of us — for longer than half a day or maybe even just dinner. As close as we are, our lives are very different, especially in terms of schedules. But this last week has been so enlightening, so refreshing and just all around incredible. This time for all of us has been amazingly challenging when it comes to work, relationships and everything else that goes along with navigating this pandemic. The support system I have been able to have with my family is second to none. Whether it is long talks with my dad about all things life related, getting to spend time with my brother just pestering each other like we are still 10 and 14 years old, or going on walks with my mom talking about work, relationships and struggles going on for her and for me at the time, there is always something to be gained in my time with each of them.
This past week has been eye opening for me in one way. The unity among the four of us is so strong and so meaningful. If one of us is in a tough spot, we all come together to support, physically and mentally. The amount of stimulating conversations we had about all different types of topics was so needed for each one of us. We all gained new perspectives on so many things while just spending time eating together, walking, talking, playing games. Now, none of this is to say that my family is perfect, because I think every single member would tell you that we are far from it. But what we do have are relationships built on honesty and trust with a whole lot of love. Anyone who knows my family and knows me will tell you that the conversations are not all rainbows and unicorns. We fight, we argue our point of view — respectfully, of course — we challenge each other to see the world in more ways than one, and all of our conversations end up in laughs. It is those moments that I am beyond grateful for as I sit here writing this piece during a pandemic that leaves all of us with so much uncertainty every single day.
Relationships take work
The relationships I have with all the members of my family have evolved drastically over time. I have always been a daddy’s girl. My dad could do no wrong no matter what people said to me. His guidance has always been the one that I cling to most especially because when I do go to him for advice, it is usually on some pretty heavy stuff. And over time, my dad and I have become closer. I tell my dad way more than I ever have and I am often seeking his wisdom or wondering what he would do or say in a situation. My mom and I have not always been the best of friends and that is AMAZING. When I was growing up, my mom was the tough one on me. She and I butted heads so often about the smallest things. I was a terror, especially in high school and I did not make my mom’s life easy, EVER. But through that time in our relationship, I think we really learned to understand each other better and it has only strengthened our bond now. We talk everyday and she usually knows when I just need someone to listen or when I am really seeking guidance. My mom has seen me at my absolute best and worst more than anyone else in my life and without the relationship we have created, that took a lot of work, I have no clue where I would be. Speaking of relationships taking work, no matter who they are with, you have to invest on both ends for them to have the depth to them that we are all looking for. You have to focus on them and grow together in them as the years go on.
My brother and I have always had a close connection but not in the way we do now. We have never been the ones to talk multiple times a week or really even once a week, until recently. Life has hit both of us in its own way and we are very different people when you look at us, but our hearts are similar and we are both compassionate at the end of the day. This might be the relationship I am most grateful for these days. The ability to pick up the phone and chat with my brother about anything and everything is something I never take for granted. People with siblings will understand this, but when you are talking to that person, it is so different than when you are seeking guidance from anyone else in your life. They know you on such a deeper level having grown up with you and watching you through every phase. Your parents are your parents. Most of the time they will be honest but they sometimes will tell you what you want to hear, haha. Siblings, nope, they keep it beyond real, at least in my family. They challenge you in ways that others in your life wouldn’t dare to do. I understand that not all siblings have the same type of bond that I have with my brother and I feel very lucky to be able to have someone like that in my life. I know plenty of people who are closer with friends than they are with siblings and would say they are more like family than some of their true family members. That type of relationship is the one I am talking about. The one that both parties are unwavering in their loyalty to one another and they are also extremely honest and real for the benefit and growth of each other. But this relationship is no different than all the rest we all have in life and has taken a ton of work and patience to be able to understand each other in the best way possible and it is so rewarding now that we are both older.
Family time in quarantine
Spending time with my family is the best gift I could have asked for during all of this. With all the stresses of the world right now, this was some much needed time with the people I know love me most. It was amazing to sit down and eat dinner with all of them, play games, watch movies or just talk about all the life things that are happening to each of us currently. The events in the lives of my family members offer me a new look at all that is around me. It forces you to see things in a different way and to be open to different opinions. And in most cases, it changes the way you view a situation, allowing you to handle it better and more efficiently. I didn’t leave my parents’ house weightless and feeling free. I left my parents’ house feeling revived, challenged and enlightened by all the conversations that were had and just the overall feeling of being with my people in the simplest way.
I feel so fortunate to be able to drive to see my family and spend time with them. I am grateful that all of our lives slowed down a little just to enjoy this time together. Each one of us works hard in all we do and even though it took a pandemic to bring us all back in the same house for a couple of days, I wouldn’t change it. It goes along with what I talked about last week, you have to be able to find the good in all situations. There is something to learn and grow from in all that we do. For me, I have grown and changed a lot in quarantine, but the time with my family has pushed me more in a week than the rest of quarantine did in 8 weeks. I could go on and on about how grateful I am for my family and its dynamics, and maybe I will get into that down the road, but for now I will just say thank you to those three and encourage you to embrace your family during this time. All of our families are different and offer something to each of us. Wrap yourself in it right now and try to grow from those around you that know you best. There is no time like right now to do it!
