So it begins…
Who am I?
My name is Rachel. I am 30 years old and I live in San Diego, California. On paper, my main job is coaching volleyball, but I like to say that I shape young minds through sports. Helping young athletes has become my passion. Making sure that the place where I work stays true to our family atmosphere and our main goal of teaching life skills to young men and women, is what I pride myself on. I have coached athletes of every age from 11 to 18 and have stayed in constant communication with many of my athletes throughout their college years.
I’m not an easy personality (haha). Those who know me know that I am a tough nut to crack. I have been that way since I was a really little kid — I’m talking 6 months old, never-cracking-a-smile-type of tough. I was told growing up that I was a bitch (pretty sure I invented the resting bitch face), that I was bossy and more than anything, I was intimidating. For a long time, I identified with those words. That was who I was and who I wanted to be. I didn’t mind being that type of person — I even liked it most of the time. But over the last few years, I’ve realized that really isn’t who I am.
Oh, I am definitely tough. I do not take crap from people and I will always stand up for what I believe in and for the “little people”. I do not like bullies. I do not like people who use their power negatively or only for personal gain. I do not like bullshit and petty drama. I do not like people who are shallow and self serving. And now, as I list all of these things, I realize that over time I let the world make me angry and I didn’t even notice it was happening. I took those comments made about me when I was so young, to heart and really pushed a lot of people and more importantly, feelings, away. But after working with athletes and really breaking down who I was to help them, I learned so much about myself that even I couldn’t grasp early on.
Deep down, I’m soft. I’m vulnerable all the time. I put myself out there even if I get rejected. I stand up for what I believe in even if it means I lose some things or people along the way. I truly believe there is a lesson in everything that we encounter and do — good or bad. I am emotional. I am not afraid to cry, like really really cry ugly tears. I am introverted, and that is okay. I do not have to be a social butterfly and have a million friends, as long as I have a handful that I know will be there no matter what. I am loyal to a fault and will go to the ends of the Earth for the people I truly care about. But the biggest thing that I learned about myself over the last few years is that it is okay to be both hard and soft at the same time — sometimes in the same moment. The most important thing is just staying true to who you are all of the time.
Why am I writing?
Writing has always been one of my greatest passions, but one so few know about. It’s easy to express myself through words and my closest friends and family members will attest to it. I love writing cards, notes, messages, anything that allows me to share my feelings without having to speak. I come from a family that is not afraid to communicate themselves, but everyone does it in such different ways.
My mom is an interior designer and the way she can express not only herself but her clients through designing a home, is like nothing I have ever seen. But that is not me. My dad is an actor and comes from a family that thrived in entertainment. He’s always revealing himself in different ways — cting, Martial Arts, drawing, writing, long talks with my brother and me, the list is endless in his forms of expression. My brother was a huge sports guy and even expressed himself through music for a while. But I know my love of writing comes from my aunt Linda. I haven't really ever read her writing in depth but we have shared a love of reading books (specifically Stephen King) and writing for a very very long time. We are similar, she and I. Neither of us are very social. Neither of us look for true validation in others. And both of us take to writing when things are a little tough or even when they are going great. We find peace in the way words flow and in knowing we can truly express how we feel without having all of our emotions get in the way and most importantly, having to speak. I have always wanted to find a way to use my writing to help others or at least guide them and I have never really figured out how.
In the beginning of all this quarantine, my dad came up with an idea for me to rant about random things for five minutes and share it with my family. It started just with my mom and dad and then I of course added my aunt Linda, because no one quite understands me the way she does. Everything I talked about, she would call and be right on the same page. Whether it was about Netflix series, quarantine being the absolute best for introverts or people posting their food on Instagram, we had the exact same feelings. I added a couple friends to the mix and then I kinda dwindled on the rants. It’s not me. Sitting in front of a camera, venting about random topics, isn’t where I express myself best. Don’t get me wrong, it is funny as hell, but it didn’t feel all that natural.
I write a lot in my everyday life, and more right now during all of the quarantine. For my job, I am in charge of content for the entire club. I have help, of course, but I am the one that is finding things and then writing the emails that go out. The first little bit was somewhat boring but over the weeks, everything shifted from volleyball to life lessons. I started writing emails that were basically just my thoughts someone else then sent. I realized that I didn’t really like that. What I have to say and how I feel is very raw and real, and I want people to read it knowing it’s from me. So, here we are.
I have decided that I will pick topics and write what they mean to me and why I think they are so important right now. My athletes that I coach will look at it and be like, “Yup, here is another life lesson Rachel will teach us about why birds fly into her window and what it means.” Haha! They are used to it by now, but I also think it is helping them during all of this. My team has ALWAYS focused on life outside of the gym. They have always been pushed to challenge themselves in ways I am not seeing with a lot of other teams. That’s not to toot my own horn but for everyone to recognize that the x’s and o’s don’t matter so much right now with every field, park, gym, track and course closed. It’s what you learn from all of it and outside of all of it that ultimately dictates your success through challenges like we are facing right now!
We need to be better as a society at not just putting our head down and letting life hit you where it hurts. Stand up, look it straight in the face and do something about it. I don’t care if you’re 11 or 56 — it doesn’t matter. There is always something to learn. There is always a way for us to improve who we are and what we leave this world with. I personally want to leave an impact and for a while I was okay with that impact just being on athletes coming from San Diego who play volleyball. Now, that isn’t enough. I want to help PEOPLE from all over. My background is in sports — I draw a lot of what I have learned from the situations I have been through from being an athlete and being a coach. But those lessons are valuable in all walks of life. I am determined to make a difference, even if it is just through words on a website that four people read. By helping one, I can help many. We have seen the impact that one person can have positively and negatively through COVID-19…
Why not use that same model to help people outside of a world health challenge?
