Differences
Gratitude
The last few posts have been rough and even a bit ranty. My emotions have been all over the place for weeks and getting back to neutral seems a little far away for me. I am burning the candle at both ends, as some say, in my personal life and with work. Balance is hard all the time and seemingly even harder more recently. As I am constantly reflecting these days, trying to understand myself, those around me and then the world, it is easy to feel lost or like you can’t come up for air. Today, specifically, I was reminded of just how lucky I am with who I choose to surround myself by and I wanted to just touch on that a little in this post.
Not everyone in my life knows everything that is going through my head in a given moment. Even though I write a blog and share many of my thoughts with the world, there are very few people who really have an inside look at the workings of my brain everyday. Actually, I would say that I really only have one person right now in my life that knows the in depth details of my daily life. The one who gets the random texts and phone calls about crazy thoughts or wild happenings throughout the day. I am open with my feelings with a lot of people and I am often told that I am one to wear my heart on my sleeve, I really don’t know how to live any other way. But back to the whole point of this post, haha, the random acts that brought some much needed joy to my life this week. The first is so small and to many wouldn’t even mean that much. As I was on court for practice I asked a pal — that most people reading this will be able to identify easily — if they would put my water bottle in the office for me. With the request they said, “Of course, anything you need.” I looked up and said, “Really, anything?”, they responded, “Yup.” So I proceeded to ask if they would call Fidel’s and ask if they were seating people, haha. Without hesitation they nodded and walked away. Again, to most people, this seems so incredibly small and in actuality, it was really petty of me to even ask them to do that, but the fact that who I was talking to really was willing to do ANYTHING I needed, was big for me today and here’s why…
Most friends will say that to you in a joking way. They will look at you and say, “Anything for you,” but you know they don’t mean it. You know that they are talking within reason and if they don’t have to do anything elaborate. In the moment today, I really did know that this person would do anything I needed, anything that would make the day I was having a little bit better or a little bit easier. Those types of people are hard to come by. Now, this is the same person that when I was having a TERRIBLE day, they dropped everything, drove an hour and a half and came to have dinner with me, just to make me feel better. They have also let me cry plenty of times about big and small things and have just been there to listen. So when the comment was made that they were willing to do whatever today, it struck me that really, they were willing to do anything. Wild feeling to say the least. 10 for 10 recommend getting a friend like that.
Later in the day as I sat and ate lunch, I chatted with another buddy. This pal is hard to put into words how much they mean. They are not always around, they do not know all my secrets, but they are so genuine, so kind, compassionate and caring, that just being around them or seeing them, brightens up my day entirely. As we sat there and chatted about all things life related I was reminded of how grateful I truly was for the friendship I had with them. Down to earth, honest conversations. A person that didn’t always agree with me, was willing to hear all opinions and offer up their own experience at any point. Being around this person brings you joy and makes you want to be a better person no matter what your day looks like at a given moment. I feel so lucky to have this person in my life, in a different way than some of my other friendships.
Realizations
What am I getting at with all of this? Great question. Relationships are all SO DIFFERENT and that is a great thing. My relationship with person #1 is lightyears different than person #2 but both of them offer so much to my life. Many of us often get into the habit of comparing relationships and basing their worth on what we have with others in our lives. That’s unfair. It’s unfair to you and to the other person involved. Each relationship can bring a world of differences to you. They can all challenge you and allow you to grow and learn in different ways. When you open yourself up to the possibility that differences are good instead of bad or even indifferent, the depth of relationships change. Even if person #2 doesn’t know everything about me, they can still offer guidance, they can still bring me down to earth in a way that maybe #1 could not.
Invest in all of your relationships and allow each one to be different than the next. Be willing to have different types of friendships, work relationships, family relationships, and stop trying to compare and contrast them all. There is no “standard” of what everything needs to look like. You do not need to go to lunch or dinner with every single person in your life for them to be of value to you or you to them. As long as the time you spend with them is honest and brings joy to each of your lives, that should be enough.
This is a long-winded way of saying I am grateful for the differences in my friendships. I am grateful that I have a friend that is willing to go above and beyond. That is willing to pull me out of bed, listen to me cry, call a restaurant to see if they are seating during a pandemic and put my cup in the office. But I am also so grateful to have the friend I sit down with once a month or couple months to catch up with. The one that offers a little bit of a different perspective and challenges me to see things outside of my own box. Embrace differences in all aspects of your life, but most importantly in your relationships.
